From God's Perspective:  "No Darkness in Jesus"
John 1:4-9
" In him was life, and that life was the light of men. The light shines in the darkness, but the darkness has not understoodit. There came a man who was sent from God; his name was John. He came as a witness to testify concerning that light, so that through him all men might believe. He himself was not the light; he came only as a witness to the light. The true light that gives light to every man was coming into the world." (NIV)

        The  Bible said: "There is no darkness in  God or Jesus. What does this really mean?
This phrase means that by God’s very nature, there is absolutely no darkness in his character. There cannot be any darkness in Him because God is the very source of real wisdom, knowledge, holiness and happiness. There is no inkling of ignorance, no trace of sinfulness, imperfection or misery. "God is light" (the essence and illumination of life and all that is, that was, and is to come) and this means that within the very being of  God is everything purity is, knowledge both revealed and unrevealed will ever be,  trhe personification of perfection and everything grace projects and truth embodies. In Galatians 5: 22- 23, God’s character is embodied in the “fruit of the Spirit". Each one of these "fruit" ("Holy Attributes") are embodiesd in the "light" of God. "Darkness" by its very definition is the "opposite" of light. "Darkness" represents everything imperfect, everything that brings misery, strife, sin and destruction." Darkness" is the "error of perception" and it distorts everything that comes through our senses on all 3 levels: physical, psychological, as well as spiritually.
       " Light" in the Scriptures is defined as "the emblem of purity, truth, knowledge, prosperity, and happiness" as darkness is of the opposite. John said that "God is light" not the light, not a light, but light itself; that is, he is all light. God is the source and fountain of light in all worlds. He is perfectly pure, without any admixture of sin. He has all knowledge, (Omniscient) with no admixture of ignorance on any subject. He is infinitely happy, with nothing to make him miserable. He is infinitely true, never stating or countenancing error; He is blessed in all his ways, never knowing the darkness of disappointment and adversity. What light is in the natural world, comparatively, God, the source of even material light, is in the spiritual world. God is the fountain of wisdom, purity, beauty, joy, and glory. Just like all material life and growth depend on light, in the same manner, so does all spiritual life and growth depend on God.
     The “light” expression here is designed to affirm that God is absolutely perfect; that there is nothing in him which is in any way imperfect, or which would dim or mar the pure splendor of his character, not even as much as the smallest spot would on the sun. The language is probably designed to guard the mind from an error to which it is prone, that of charging God with being the Author of the sin and misery which exist on the earth; and the apostle seems to design to teach that whatever was the source of sin and misery, it was not in any sense to be charged on God. In "this doctrine" that God is a pure light, John has laid down as the substance of all that he had to teach; of all that he had learned from him (Jesus) who was made flesh. It is, in fact, the fountain of all just views of truth on the subject of religion, and all proper views of religion take their origin from this. 
        In the Gospel of John 1:4- 9, The Apostle John lets us know that in Jesus, there was life, and this life was the “light” of men. The light of Jesus shone in the darkness of this world and the darkness that’s in this world could not understand his light. God even sent a “forerunner to Jesus, John the Baptist to bear witness; to testify about Jesus, the Light of the world that men might believe in him. John the Baptist knew that he was not the light and said so when he was asked by the religious leaders to identify himself. John the Baptist reaffirmed that Jesus gave light (eternal life) to all men who would believe in him. 
Question: Can  a person can have fellowship with God (who is light) and still walk in darkness?
        No. A person will break their fellowship with God if that person continually walks in willful sin and darkness. 
        The "good news" is, as sad as this "dispicable act" of walking in darkness is, does not cause that person to lose their salvation in Jesus Christ as the Son of God. Let me explain:
        There is a difference between what is called the “standing” of a person and the “state” or "status" of a person in relationship with God. Another way of putting it is there is a difference between a person’s judicial position with God and their spiritual condition in God (Christ). A person’s " judicial position" with God depends on whether that person has professed Jesus Christ as their personal savior or not. A person can only have fellowship with God the Father through Jesus Christ. Jesus said that no one can approach the Father but through Him. A person’s "spiritual condition" in God (Christ) depends on whether that person lives through the “new nature” ( that is if they are "Holy Spirit" controlled) or do they continually walk in the flesh of his old nature. We battle 2 distinct natures: One is "Carnal"  (The flesh) and the other is "Spiritual".  Because we battle these two natures within our very being (Romans 7:1- 25) and the fact that God will not have fellowship with sin, it's extremely imperative that we lean upon our “advocate” who has the closest relationship with God the Father (Son), Jesus Christ. It means that we must daily confess our faults to our advocate to avoid a “broken fellowship” with God. 
        Secondly, it means that we are to do what 1 Corinthians 11: 31- 32 admonishes us to do: “If we would judge ourselves, we should not be judged". "But when we are judged, we are chastened of the Lord, that we should not be condemned with the world". "Part of God's chastisement" for continually walking in darkness is a broken fellowship with God that hinders our spiritual growth and our covenant relation. It is good to note  that "even though our standing (judicial position) with God (salvation) is secured, our status (carnal spiritual condition) keeps us at arm’s length from God". As a result, we remain in a “dwarf” state "spiritually", always searching for God only when we are in a crisis state, but never becoming the disciple/teacher God intended us to be because we refuse to submit to his will fully and relinquish our will’s desire.
        "Righteousness" has no fellowship with "unrighteousness". Holiness is never in league with evil. To live our lives contra-wise to the way of God places us under condemnation, even though we still have salvation. This means that the carnal mind that influences our walking in unrighteousness is at odds with God. It even explains why the “foolishness” of preaching sometimes confounds many who claim to be wise. "A person can have bouts with sin and will on occasion walk in darkness even though they have professed Christ as their Savior". The problem is they have not fully submitted to Christ and made him their Lord. The Apostle John said in the Gospel of John 1: 5 that the light (Jesus Christ) shined into the darkness (the world and its system) and the darkness (the world and its system) comprehended it not. When a person walks in darkness, they don’t really have a clue as to what’s really going on in their life. That person tries to “lean” to their  understanding and does not acknowledge the Lord in all of their ways. The person does not seek direction from Jesus. They will ask other people’s advice that  they know or will become fiercely independent to the point that they refuse advice or direction from anyone. If a person is truly submitted in Christ; a person leaning and trusting in Jesus Christ with a “saving” faith and acknowledges Him in all of their ways, they will not strive to walk in darkness at all!
        Christian that is out of fellowship with God has no perspective of where they are going in life. He also stated that a person who breaks their fellowship with God is one who doesn’t keep the commandments of God and fails to walk in obedience on a daily basis. It stands to reason that anybody who fails to walk in obedience with God is either out of fellowship or is not saved. The tragedy of a Christian that’s out of fellowship with God is that person will also have a very difficult time being in fellowship with other believers. You can see that in the following perspectives:

A.    The professing person's relationship with other believing Christians will be strained.
       Jesus said:  "He is in the light, and hates his brother, is in darkness even until now". He that professes to be a convert to Christianity, even in the lowest degree; and hates his brother, meaning, that they not only does not love him, but also wills to and does him evil, the same way the Jews did toward the Gentiles not only is in darkness, but, they haven’t received any saving knowledge of the truth. "The basis of true religion is love". A person doesn’t have true religion unless he has love to the brethren. The command to love one another in John 15:17 was one of the most solemn and earnest which Christ ever implored us to do.  He made it the “special badge” of discipleship, (John 13:35) by which every one of his followers were to be known by everywhere. It is, therefore, impossible to have any true religion without love to those who are sincerely and truly his followers. If a man doesn’t have that, he is in deep darkness, whatever else he may have, on the whole subject of religion.
 
B.     Love will permeate an obedient man.
        The Christian that exemplifies love toward his fellow man epitomizes a person that has "pure religion". There is no “scandal” in him. This means that they won’t show a malicious behavior toward anyone. They will strive to take the proper course of action in response to their brother in the faith. Their actions will be with true benevolence, void of malice or jealousy. He will have no envy toward them in their prosperity, and will not be disposed to detract from their reputation in adversity; he will have no feelings of exaltation when they fall, and will not be disposed to take advantage of their misfortunes; and, loving them as brethren, he will be in no respect under temptation to do them wrong.

C.    The Bitter and Hating man eyes will be blinded and lost.
      Verse 11 says if a person hates his brother, 4 things will be evident: First, the scripture says that the person lives in darkness. Second, the manner in which that person live, act and interact with others will be shrouded in darkness because they will walk in darkness. Third, a person who hates his brother and is bitter towards him will be cloudy in their knowledge of what true love (agape) is and how it function. This means that they will not have a clear vision of where they are going in this life because they are not walking in the love of God. Fourth, that darkness that has engulfed that person has blinded the eyes (the person’s perspective) on how to love his brother. 



    

Bereavement Series: "Counseling the Beereaved Member" Part III
Those who Morn: Bereaving a Suicide, Bereaving a Murder, Pastoral Funeral Preparation
1 Peter 4:12-13
Beloved, do not be surprised at the bfiery ordeal among you, which comes upon you for your testing, as though some strange thing were happening to you; but to the degree that you ashare the sufferings of Christ, keep on rejoicing, so that also at the brevelation of His glory cyou may rejoice with exultation. (NASU)

I. Comforting those Bereaving a Suicide Victim
            "Suicide" is defined as "the death of a person caused by that person taking their life and engaging in an act or activity that cause cessation of life to occur. 
        `    The person who ultimately committed suicide for reasons stated or unstated in a suicide note (if one is written) at some point became so distraught, so disappointed, and disgusted with themselves and the affairs of their life. They reached a critical point in life that they lost all hope of a better life situation and coundn't see any more reason to continue living. They believed the one who claim to love them let them down and did them wrong when they should have helped them. As an act of hopelessness and/or  a means to punish the ones they feel wronged them in some way, the person will do such dramatic acts like put a loaded gun to their head and pull the trigger, jump off a bridge overpass unto a crowded highway, take a drug overdose, intentionally crash their vehicle at a high rate of speed and many others. They want the survivors to feel that they had the last laugh and took control of thier lives is such a way that nobody will ever hurt them again .
Ways to minister to the bereaved that are the survivors of the deceased:
A.    Avoid Passing Judgment.
            When counseling or talking to the bereaved, avoid passing judgment upon the deceased by the attempt of giving simplistic explanations as to why the person took their own life. Suicide is a complexed act and in truth only God really knows why it took place. It is better to leave it in God’s hands for explanations and judgments.

B.     Minister thru the Word of God.
            The pastor should apply God’s truths found in the Word and minister them to the hearts of the survivors, doing all that he can not to avoid the fact the death was a suicide. The pastor must never use a “fantasy” approach when dealing with their grief but deal with their hurts and despondencies realistically and with sincerity.

C.     Shepherd the Bereaved.
            The pastor must minister to them as a loving shepherd, being careful to refer to all who bereave as “we” and not they or you if the suicide act is mentioned, even if the deceased was not a member of the pastor’s church. The pastor is to avoid any appearance of passing judgment either on the deceased or those who survive them.

 D.  Be Led bt the Holy Spirit.
            The pastor must become an interpreter who can give meaning and insight into a difficult situation, even if he can’t fully explain what actually happened or why it happened. The focus of the funeral and the funeral message should be on the good aspects of the deceased life, those things that are worth remembering. This may require the pastor examining every song that will be song and each scripture that will be read publicly.

II.    Comforting Those who Bereave a Murder Victim
            Great care must must be taken by the pastor toward those who mourn the death of a murdered love one. the following are 3 short tips to consider:

 A.   Remember that those who mourn are in a state of shock.
             The pastor must deal with those who mourn in the way that ministers to their shock, resulting from the way their love one died and their feeling of perplexity over the whole matter. They will have questions as to why God allowed this tragedy and heinous act to happen to a member of their family.

 B.    The funeral service must be a place for healing.
             The pastor must not allow the funeral service to become a forum or a place   to air grievances as to why there is so much evil in the world or the province of God. His goal should be to reiterate that tragedies do happen and can happen to any of us, but God is a healer and can give healing and hope beyond any tragedy anyone of us may face.

C.     Avoid the "Blame Game"
            The pastor in his eulogy of the deceased must not pass judgment upon anyone, but must be careful to examine himself and compel those who grieve to do the same thing while remaining here to live beyond the death of the murdered person and do all they can not to blame God for any reason or place any blame upon any of the victims.

III.    Funeral Preparation
There are several things a pastor can do in the wake of preparation for a funeral:

A.    Make Contact with the Bereaved family.
             As soon as possible, make contact with the bereaved family get as much personal information from them on the deceased if the deceased was not a member of the church where that pastor serves. Make sure all the information you get on the deceased is accurate, consulting the funeral home and or/ knowledgeable member of that family to verify all information gathered.

B.     Make Visitation.
            Make visitations with the bereaved family. Be a listening ear gaining insight through their conversations about the deceased. Test the spirits and attitudes of those gathered at the home of the bereaved. If the bereaved are not church members or if the deceased had no church membership, find out through spiritual discernment the following: Are they sympathetic towards the church and the gospel? Do they consider the pastor an intruder? Are they “worldly people with little or no values, or they interested in spiritual things? Are any of them saved? This will give him some indication as to how the church should proceed. Convey that the church is supportive and also in mourning with them and offer any assistance you can in helping them deal with the grieving process.

C.     Find out what kind of funeral service is desired from whoever’s in charge of making the arrangements.
        Sometimes, in the case of a saved person, the deceasd will have shared some ideas to the family in whole or in part of the type of funeral service they wish to have in the event of their untimely death. The family member in charge of making the funeral arraingments will have made notes on the types and name of songs, special soloists, specific people given permission to give remarks, or have determined that both the pastor and the church will be needed to assist them in the homegoing program. The pastor should find out what type of assistance will bve need for from the church and by his or herself.
             The moree prepared the pastor or minister is in reponding to the needs of the grieving family, the more effective they can be in helping people who are in mourning  get through the process of confronting and getting past their grief.
 

Bereavement Series: "Counseling the Bereaved Member" Part II  
"The Visit, The Funeral, the Eulogy Message and the Committal"
2 Corinthians 1:3-5
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.
2 Thessalonians 2:16-17
 Now may our Lord Jesus Christ Himself and God our Father, who has loved us and given us eternal comfort and cgood hope by grace, comfort and strengthen your hearts in every good work and word. (NASU)

        In this second lesson, We will focus on the importance of the visitation of a bereaved person, member or family both during the initial stages of their bereravement stages and even after the funeral and subsequent burial. of the deceased.  Visitations by the Pastor and other concerned members and friends  can work wonders in the bereaved person working through their grieving process and soon going on with the other business of their lives.  If the visiting  pastor or lay minister is not aware of what it takes to be an effective comforter to the bereaved family or person, the emotional damage could be severe and cause a giant rift in some or all of their other relationships in and outside the church family.. A death of  a spouse, family member or a close friend,  has ocureed. The grieving person has many internal questions, some questionong their faith, wondering why God took the person or allowed the tragedy if such to take place.. Others question where are they to go from this moment, after all their lives have been drastically changed 
I.    What does the pastor’s visit and presence remind the grieving family of?            
            Pertaining to visiting the residence of the grieving family or person, when the pastor' makes a strong effort to visit the bereeaved appearance before the funeral and even afterwards, Their visit should remind the bereaved of 2 things:
A.    God’s presence and His concern for the family in their time of need.
B.     Their visitation brings a welcomed reassurance to the family,
Along with assuring the bereaved that  the pastor and the church grieves along with the family, the presence of that pastor or lay minister leaves them with the feeling that they do not mourn alone and they left in this world to grievea alone, but their church family (if it is a funeral for a member and in the family or relative but non- member of the church congregation) as a whole supports them collectively,and are constantly praying and interceding to God for them.

The visitation of the pastor to the family should be done in the spirit of Christian love and have these major goals in mind to accomplish concerning the bereaved:

A.        First, the visitation and subsequent conversations they will engage in with those present at the house should reassure them that their feelings no matter how strong or devistating of grief are normal and just because things are hectic at the moment and every thing seems for the moment to come like at the family a whirlwind, theycan  rest assure that none of them haven’t lost control of life in general and in due time, everything will settle down and become balanced once again.
B.     Second, the time spent with the family should reassure and encourage them to live one day at a time and avoid making too many decisions rapidly or under durest but move forward in a deliberate fashion and make decisions as they become really ready to act upon each of the decisions they do make.

II.    The Funeral: The Importance of having a Funeral
            The funeral service, whether is occurs in a church sanctuary, in the chapel of a funeral home, or at the gravesite allows further opportunities for family, friends and other well wishers to pay their respects to the bereaved as well as to encourage those in bereavement continue in the grieving process and in time to bring some type of closure to the grieving process for the bereaved. The love one is now funeralized and it further helps in the acceptance of the reality of loss . Funerals (provided they are the “right” kind) are needed  not only for that but also for the following reasons:

A.    For the Christian whose going through the grieving process, the funeral procession for their deceased loved one and the memorial service glorifies God, because it’s another opportunity to worship God.

B.     The funeral is also an opportunity to glorify mankind in humanity by burying their physical body with dignity and in honor. The reason this is true is because man according to Genesis 1: 26- 27 was made in the image and likeness of God and man’s physical body is the temple of God. According to God: "from dust we were taken and from dust we shall return." (Genesis 3:19)

C.     The funeral service is a public testimony to our faith in the sovereignty of God and another way to worship God in his sovereignty.

D.    The Funeral service “fortifies” or strengthens those who mourn and are bereaved for the deceased. In truth, the funeral service is really not for the deceased family, rather, it is for all who survive the deceased attending the funeral memorial service . Second, the funeral service allows us all to see in a vivid way that death in inevitable and a reality for us all one day.  The funeral service also helps to bring closure for those friends and family members who are alive and left behind, enabling them to go on with life in rememberance of the deceased, looking to Christ and the blessed hope that awaits all who are His at their death.

III.    The Eulogy Message.
            When the Pastor or other Eulogist eulogizes the deceased and preaches at the funeral, there are several things that strongly should be considered as they prepare the message for the funeral service:
A.    Briefness. 
        A funeral message should be “time sensitive” and not be more than 10 minutes. Though brief, it should be a personal message with the deceased and those who mourn in mind.
B.     Biblical Truth. 
            The brief meaasge should comprise one truth presented in a vivid manner that will be understood by all those listening that they can apply immediately to their lives. Clear and positive biblical teachings that convey what is clearly taught in the bible.,
C.     A Christian message. 
            The message should be a message that illuminates God’s Holy Word,  pointing the bereaved and other hearers to Jesus Christ. It should compel them to depend on him in this and every time of need. It should convey a positive message of God’s love and concern for the lost of a love one, and reveal the blessed hope, strength and healing those who bereave can experience in depending on Jesus Christ. 
D.    A "quiet conversation" or an "espressive sermonette."
             Depending upon the family circumstance and/ or temperment, the eulogy message in its presentation can be done either in a "monotonic" up close and personal message from God to the bereaved  as if the minister is having a private talk with the surviving family in the confines of their home living room, or it can be done the way in recent years in in modern times, like a "espressive" sermonette because it the deceased is a saved person, it is a celebration of their homegoing to live with our Heavenly father.
E.     God centeredness. 
            The message should reveal God as soverign, wise, loving and express his grace given to man, not focussed on man and his failures. The funeral message should be presented in a way that “changes” the hearers’ ears into eyes so they can see the God's truth in a vivid way.
F.      Radiance and fullness of hope. 
            The funeral message should address a realistic view of death; that death is a reality of this life; that we do grieve and hurt while grieving; that living this life is not easy, but through it all we can feel the overwhelming presence and care of God; that He does understand how we feel and He stands with us while we go though the grief.
G.  A “sensitive” message.
             The minister must present and apply the message to those who are bereaved in a sensitive way. They must be sensitive to the needs of the family, their testimony, or the lack of a testimony of the deceased. They must be sensitive to the truth of the Word of God and how it is to be applied to the hearers in the funeral setting They must be led by the Holy Spirit because He know the conditions and situations within a family or individual.
IV.    The Purpose of the Committal of the Body
     What is the main purpose of the committal service at the grave?
The main purpose of the committal service is to write: “it is finished” over all that has been done, because there is “finality” in a death that the human heart must accept. Once the burial casket and the vault that will hold it is lowered into the ground. it sends a final message to the bereaved and all who witnesses this that their love oneand friend  has passed from this life to the life that awaits them in the beyond, and that they are no longer present physically with those who live on earth. As the days go by the bereaved will recalla the burial at the gravesite, placing a stamp of finality on the human life of their loved one. They must now face life without them and go on and complete the grieving process and go on with living out their lives. In doing so, they face the reality that all must live in preparation of the day that theytoo who once or severall times were bereaved will pass through the same process mof dying and become the deceased.

Bereavement Counseling:  "Being a Blessing to Those who Mourn" Part One
Matthew 5:4: Blessed are they who mourn; for they shall be comforted.
2 Corinthians 1:3-6
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For just as the sufferings of Christ are ours in abundance, so also our comfort is abundant through Christ. (NASU)

I.    Bereavement Ministry.
        Every Church Ministry should have a ministry designated to assist in bringing comfort to their members and to others in their communities who experience a loss of a family member or a love one that was an integral part of their lives.  You may ask: why is such a ministry so important? Simply put in a nutshell, it’s needed! Whenever a death occurs, the survivors of that family, their friends, acquaintances and church members who had a relationship with the deceased on any level all will need added comfort, strength and support from the church, from each other, and from well wishers to move forward in life beyond the lost  
If the church is truly to be a fellowship of Christian comfort to the bereaved and their family, there are at least 3 things the "bereaved" need to both know and be shown from all well wishers:
A. That someone really cares about them.
 B. That someone is genuinely concerned about their lost and,
 C. That someone has pledged to be a support, a blessing, constantly watch over them in brotherly love as they attempt to strive and move forward to live beyond their pain and sorrow and physical lost.
II.    Putting Your Christianity to the Test.
         When the Pastor or another child of God ministers and give assistance and aid  to the bereaved family or individual member, they literally put their own Christian life and profession to the test. Let me explain. 
        The pastor and lay person make themselves vulnerable in front of the bereaved person in a waythat allows them to see that pastor or lay person in a different light beyond the scope of sunday morning at church. In this bereaved setting, the bereaved is allowed to see them" humanly” up close and personal. No matter how the person may have seen or viewed the Pastor or the lay person at church,  This  gives them an opportunity to see that the minister experiences sorrow as they tend to the bereaved in their sorrow, pain in their pain and beyond the personna as their pastor or as the lay person who ministered to them in their time of sorrow. The bereaved would want to and should see a pastor or minister who truly cares about them and what they are about, how he relates to them during the time of their lost and in the end, they will remember him for his sincere kindness, beyond any sermon he has preached in their hearing. 
III.     Becoming Vunerable to the Bereaved.
        Every pastor must show their vulnerability to the congregation, or else, if not, they may be perceived as not being real and genuine.  By being vulnerable in front of them, they must be willing to confess to the bereaved that there are some questions they will either have or ask that he doesn’t know the immediate answers to, and even experience feelings before them that he himself may not want to or is not ready to face. From the pastoral perspective, the Pastor must experience deeper depths of sorrow as well as higher heights of joy. They must become a good listener and know when to be silent when the bereaved are talking to him and when to talk to them as well. They must convey their love and concern as well as God’s love, concern and care for them. 
IV.   Becoming Part of the Answer, not the Problem. 
        It's very important in the grieving process  the pastor must be part of the answer and not part of the problem.  
        For any pastor to be part of the answer, they must understand what the grief process is for each parishioner going through it and how he can effectively minister to each one experiencing sorrow. While he is not to attempt to shield anyone bereaved from the pains associated with bereavement, he is to make the sincere effort to encourage them to draw upon the strength found in all of God’s divine resources and use them to help the bereaved accept the grief they’re feeling in a mature manner. By using the grief process in an effective way, the people experiencing bereavement and grief should come out of the grieving process better people than before death and bereavement took place.
V.     Reconizing the 8 "stages" of the Bereavement Process.
    There are 8 known stages in the bereavement process. they are the following:
A.    Shock or disbelief. 
        A person may not believe initially that the death of their love one has occurred unless it was expected due to a prolonged illness. There’s an “emotional” and physical numbness that will occur to a person when a love one dies. This is a normal stage experience triggered by our body’s nervous system. This is God’s way of giving “emotional” anesthesia to the now bereaved so they can face the reality of the death that just occurred and handle all of the difficulties ahead as a result of it. Shock can become an abnormality if the person stays in it too long and it will create other problems down the road.
B.     Strong Emotion. 
        This bereavement stage can bring on a feeling of experiencing a broken heart and wanting to cry due to feeling deep sorrow. There’s nothing wrong with either of these feelings as long as the expressions of sorrow are not due to having no hope beyond bereaving. It is wrong theologically and psychologically if a pastor or counselor tries to get the bereaved person to refrain from crying. The bible is full of example where people cried in times of joy as well as in sorrow. Even Jesus wept at the graveside of Lazarus.
C.     Depression. 
        Depression occurs sometimes accompanied by a strong smothering feeling of loneliness. Depending on the person’s relationship to those left to mourn, their death may force those surviving to re-organize their lives because the loving relationship between them has been broken. There may also be an occurrence of insecure feelings, especially if the deceased was a spouse, a member of the immediate family. Sometimes, the bout with depression can trigger physical problems if it becomes a prolonged deep depression.
D.    Fear. 
        Fear causes a grieving person to have problems clearly concentrating and an inability to think straight. The person may become panic stricken and extremely fearful. Internally and externally, their world may seem to be falling apart.
E.     Guilt. 
        A grieving person will may blame themselves over the death of their love one, especially if the person died because of a suicide. Guilt sometimes opens up old wounds and bad memories. There are times when the bereaved will only see the good in the deceased and ignore their bad points, but by doing this there is a tendency to focus on the negative aspects in their own lives while they are grieving.
F.      Anger. 
        A person experiencing anger in their time of bereavement may become resentful, hostile, and frustrated to the point that they will began to blame anyone from themselves to everyone else, including God and the deceased because their love one has died.
Remember:    Rely on God in  Ministering to Bereaving Families
      It is of the utmost importance that no matter the experience of the Pastor,  The Pastor must rely on the sufficiency that is in Jesus Christ and in the Word of God. His sufficiency should never be based upon his expertise, legal certifications, or pastoral experience in conducting funerals or dealing directly with previous grieving families. The reason why the pastor must rely on Christ and the Word of God is because each bereavement situation and the people’s reactions to each death will be different. This will be true even if there are familiar or simular emotional behaviors and grief expressions with a new family that occurred in previous funeral situations.